We try so hard to be perfect to achieve something that we lose sight of the process and of the fact that we are human. Allowing for imperfection and setbacks can help you get closer to your goal in the long run!
ur culture puts so much emphasis on perfection and reaching goals that trying too hard is almost second nature to many of us. No matter whether it is meditation, diet, exercise, work or parenting, sometimes we just try too hard… and, in the end, this approach backfires and takes us away from what we want to accomplish.
When people embark on a diet, the overly rigid rules often lead them to think about food all day long. Eventually they cave into their hunger or desire for food, and overeat. Results frustration, powerlessness, anger, and weight gain. I am speaking from experience here. Score: Brain: 1- Body: 0.
As a health coach, I see some of my clients struggling so hard to be perfect that they become resentful, and then they either go on a “bad streak” or are disappointed with themselves. Instead of this counterproductive approach of seeking perfection, I recommend the 90-10 rule: be good 90 percent of the time and do what you want 10%, in order to avoid this all-or-nothing approach. In addition to being unnecessary, self-criticism will result in stress, which will, among other things, slow down metabolism and lead to weight gain. So I encourage my clients to “be a little bad”.
With meditation, when people first start, they struggle with keeping their mind clear of thoughts. If they do not succeed immediately, they feel defeated, unsuccessful — and most of us will see this as failure. But there is no such a thing as failure in meditation, it is a process, a learning process, with no judgement. The same can be said for exercise.
When try so hard to focus on perfection to achieve the goal that we lose sight of the process – which is the only way to reach our the goals.
As a health coach, I remind my clients that we, as humans, are hard-wired for pleasure and that trying too hard is often about deprivation and sacrifice. So first, we have to establish realistic goals and understand the why behind those goals; second, identify and adopt wellness habits that we can keep in the long-term, that includes allowing for imperfections and small setbacks.
While it is important to try hard and stay focused, sometimes to be successful, you just have to take a step back and take a deep breath as you step toward your goals.
Have you tried too hard at times? Did you successfully change that pattern? If so, how? I would love to hear your views. This is an area where we can all learn from each other. Thanks for sharing.